Edited by Robert Beach
In case you hadn’t heard, there’s been some recent talk about making a new Die Hard film. The twist with this proposed 6th installment of the most overrated action franchise the world has ever produced is it would be a prequel of some kind. Obviously, most folks have picked up on this as a terrible idea given that there’s really nothing for a Die Hard prequel to actually explore. Everything interesting in the Die Hard universe started with the first film.
There’s no point in extending the universe prior to that point as it’d more or less be the same as our world. That’s the thing about bad prequels, which is to say most prequels, is that they make the mistake of trying to follow a character back to a time when they were less interesting; however, this announcement has got me thinking about prequels that would be interesting to see, so here’s my top 12 prequels list.
In case you hadn’t heard, there’s been some recent talk about making a new Die Hard film. The twist with this proposed 6th installment of the most overrated action franchise the world has ever produced is it would be a prequel of some kind. Obviously, most folks have picked up on this as a terrible idea given that there’s really nothing for a Die Hard prequel to actually explore. Everything interesting in the Die Hard universe started with the first film.
There’s no point in extending the universe prior to that point as it’d more or less be the same as our world. That’s the thing about bad prequels, which is to say most prequels, is that they make the mistake of trying to follow a character back to a time when they were less interesting; however, this announcement has got me thinking about prequels that would be interesting to see, so here’s my top 12 prequels list.
12. PUMPKINHEAD
And we’re off to a weird start, but one that will more-or-less define how we go on. Pumpkinhead is a fairly obscure ‘80s monster movie that starred Lance Henriksen and revolved around some creepy hill folk summoning a demon named Pumpkinhead to exact brutal vengeance on some trespassing city kids. It’s a solid monster flick with some good direction, great effects work, and a solid lead performance from Henriksen. It was also weirdly successful as it spawned 4 sequels and a video game.
What’s interesting about the series and worth exploring in a subsequent film is the idea of the demon Pumpkinhead. The thing about monsters like this is it’s understood Pumpkinhead has always existed and could’ve been called upon at any time to exact monstrous vengeance. Given the already pretty creepy and remote history of the Appalachians where the film is set, there’s a lot of back history to explore with this creature. Specifically, I’d like to see a story about backwoods Appalachian bootleggers in the ‘20s summoning the creature to fight Pinkerton agents. You could also explore stories in the Civil War times or even as far back as the colonial era.
What’s interesting about the series and worth exploring in a subsequent film is the idea of the demon Pumpkinhead. The thing about monsters like this is it’s understood Pumpkinhead has always existed and could’ve been called upon at any time to exact monstrous vengeance. Given the already pretty creepy and remote history of the Appalachians where the film is set, there’s a lot of back history to explore with this creature. Specifically, I’d like to see a story about backwoods Appalachian bootleggers in the ‘20s summoning the creature to fight Pinkerton agents. You could also explore stories in the Civil War times or even as far back as the colonial era.
11. PACIFIC RIM
This one makes so much sense I’m a little shocked it wasn’t the first thing Legendary announced when they briefly decided they wanted to make more Pacific Rim material. Guillermo Del Toro’s giant robot v. kaiju film may not have been the biggest hit of all time, though the dedicated cult audience it did find could probably sustain the cost of a prequel pretty easily.
They actually already produced a comic book prequel in conjunction with the first film, and it’s pretty enjoyable. The best thing about a prequel is it wouldn’t force the series to contrive some way to undo the happy ending of Pacific Rim 1 to force more Kaiju into the mix. Setting it around the dawn of the Jaeger program, the film could just jump head first into more giant-sized monster fights, which is pretty much the only good reason to make more Pacific Rim movies. Also, it’d allow Idris Elba to return again, which is no bad thing.
They actually already produced a comic book prequel in conjunction with the first film, and it’s pretty enjoyable. The best thing about a prequel is it wouldn’t force the series to contrive some way to undo the happy ending of Pacific Rim 1 to force more Kaiju into the mix. Setting it around the dawn of the Jaeger program, the film could just jump head first into more giant-sized monster fights, which is pretty much the only good reason to make more Pacific Rim movies. Also, it’d allow Idris Elba to return again, which is no bad thing.
10. FIRST BLOOD
First Blood is one of the most tense and engaging military thrillers of all time, depicting the issue of neglected veterans in a way that was deeply affecting while still action packed and impressive; however, the whole film is built off a very interesting foundation that’s never been explored. Namely the time its protagonist spent IN Vietnam. The idea of Rambo as this unstoppable, human weapon super soldier was a big part of what generated audience interest for a sequel as everyone wanted the chance to see Rambo really cut loose. It gave us one of the best action movie sequels of all time.
A First Blood prequel would let us see all of that and more with a whole squad of Rambo level super soldiers fighting their way through a secret war in Vietnam. The First Blood series has always been at its best when it keeps the emphasis on the inhumanity of our treatment of soldiers. This would be a great chance to explore that, taking the inherent darkness of demanded atrocities that punctuated Apocalypse Now or Platoon and apply it to an entire squad of trained government super weapons. It’d be like Captain America crossed with Heart of Darkness.
A First Blood prequel would let us see all of that and more with a whole squad of Rambo level super soldiers fighting their way through a secret war in Vietnam. The First Blood series has always been at its best when it keeps the emphasis on the inhumanity of our treatment of soldiers. This would be a great chance to explore that, taking the inherent darkness of demanded atrocities that punctuated Apocalypse Now or Platoon and apply it to an entire squad of trained government super weapons. It’d be like Captain America crossed with Heart of Darkness.
9. HIGHLANDER
Here’s a statement that shouldn’t merit any kind of controversy or discussion: the first Highlander film is awesome, and everything after it was pretty awful. I know there are a handful of people who like the TV show, but if we’re being honest, it was essentially just another low-rent ‘90s genre series aping the Buffy aesthetic and doing it poorly. What’s so baffling about the Highlander series is how committed they are to forcing their characters into the modern day or the future.
The core thesis of the series is that these are immortal beings who have ALL of human history to fight across, yet, for some reason, we’re convinced the only two settings worthy of immortal sword-fighting action are present day and post apocalypse. What’s even more bizarre is the first film totally understood the importance of telling the story across time as the period sequences are some of the best in the movie. Highlander has the potential to be the cinematic equivalent of Assassin’s Creed, this cross-temporal story of eldritch grudges, and a secret war fought behind the scenes of human history.
The core thesis of the series is that these are immortal beings who have ALL of human history to fight across, yet, for some reason, we’re convinced the only two settings worthy of immortal sword-fighting action are present day and post apocalypse. What’s even more bizarre is the first film totally understood the importance of telling the story across time as the period sequences are some of the best in the movie. Highlander has the potential to be the cinematic equivalent of Assassin’s Creed, this cross-temporal story of eldritch grudges, and a secret war fought behind the scenes of human history.
8. PREDATOR
At this point, I feel like we’ve more or less slacked all desire to see variations on humans shooting at Predators. We’ve seen jungle army guys shoot at them; inner-city guys shoot at them; shanghaied human killers shoot at them; we’ve pretty much exhausted this concept. What we haven’t seen is a story told from the Predator’s point of view, or something where the Predators fight a non-human, non-xenomorph creature.
I would combine these ideas with a movie where Predators hunt dinosaurs back in time. I’m not really sure I need to SELL this movie any more than the concept, though having Predators hunting and domesticating dinosaurs as they work to hunt the apex killers of pre-human Earth sounds like an amazing movie. Yes, as it would focus on the Predator as the main character, you wouldn’t be able to have any dialogue, but that wouldn’t be too much of a problem. Given the advances in CGI and visuals, now it’s clear that we don’t necessarily need language to sympathize with a film’s protagonist, just look at the Planet of the Apes reboot series to see that.
I would combine these ideas with a movie where Predators hunt dinosaurs back in time. I’m not really sure I need to SELL this movie any more than the concept, though having Predators hunting and domesticating dinosaurs as they work to hunt the apex killers of pre-human Earth sounds like an amazing movie. Yes, as it would focus on the Predator as the main character, you wouldn’t be able to have any dialogue, but that wouldn’t be too much of a problem. Given the advances in CGI and visuals, now it’s clear that we don’t necessarily need language to sympathize with a film’s protagonist, just look at the Planet of the Apes reboot series to see that.
7. HALLOWEEN
This one is a bit of old ground for me as it’s an idea I already pitched in my piece about how to reboot Slasher films, and it deserved repeating if only because of how poorly done Rob Zombie’s Halloween quasi-prequel was. Zombie’s mistake was, as I mentioned previously, taking things back to a time when Halloween killer Michael Myers was less interesting than we expect. The correct way to do a Halloween prequel is to focus on the 7 years Dr. Loomis says he spent trying to keep Michael Myers locked up forever.
We know that Michael’s always been a dangerous lunatic, so the idea of him trapped in an insane asylum full of equally deranged madmen adds a whole extra layer of malice to the situation. It’d allow additional development for the Loomis/Michael relationship, which was always key to the classic film’s success. It could work for a very different kind of Halloween film. The underlying truth of all the ‘80s Slasher villains is that they were the poorest and most vulnerable members of society afforded power to take seething revenge on the middle classes that grew fat off their marginalization. Setting a whole Halloween film in the horrific world of prison-based mental care could bring that subtext right into the foreground of the whole film.
We know that Michael’s always been a dangerous lunatic, so the idea of him trapped in an insane asylum full of equally deranged madmen adds a whole extra layer of malice to the situation. It’d allow additional development for the Loomis/Michael relationship, which was always key to the classic film’s success. It could work for a very different kind of Halloween film. The underlying truth of all the ‘80s Slasher villains is that they were the poorest and most vulnerable members of society afforded power to take seething revenge on the middle classes that grew fat off their marginalization. Setting a whole Halloween film in the horrific world of prison-based mental care could bring that subtext right into the foreground of the whole film.
6. THE CROW
The Crow is one of those weird ‘90s hits that were very big for a brief moment in history before it just faded away into quasi-obscurity, much like Spawn. I’m less vexed by The Crow, however, as I actually get the central concept of it. It’s a decent concept: someone who dies a violent death is resurrected by an unexplained mystic crow to seek revenge. I mean it’s nothing super original or all that deep as it’s a pretty transparent vessel to contain the audience’s directionless angst, but it works for what it is.
What would make that idea even better is seeing it play out across all of human history. I know that it would because they tried the same thing with Spawn and Ghost Rider, and it was awesome. The great thing about this idea is that you can literally just pick any historical phrase and then staple “but the Crow” to it, and you’ve more or less got a film. Old West Cowboy…but the Crow, Spanish Inquisition…but the Crow, Marco Polo…but the Crow, see? It basically writes itself. Combine that with all the room for expansion inherent to The Crow’s mercurial mythos and you’d have plenty of room for a unique story.
What would make that idea even better is seeing it play out across all of human history. I know that it would because they tried the same thing with Spawn and Ghost Rider, and it was awesome. The great thing about this idea is that you can literally just pick any historical phrase and then staple “but the Crow” to it, and you’ve more or less got a film. Old West Cowboy…but the Crow, Spanish Inquisition…but the Crow, Marco Polo…but the Crow, see? It basically writes itself. Combine that with all the room for expansion inherent to The Crow’s mercurial mythos and you’d have plenty of room for a unique story.
5. TRANSFORMERS
All right, obviously I am aware that the Transformers films have all been pretty abysmal. The first film is terrible; the sequel is unwatchable; the third film is deadening; and the fourth one is “good for a Transformers movie.” Just because the previous films suck doesn’t mean a new one would automatically have to, or that the world they inhabit is inherently boring. We know from Trans4mers: Age of Extinction that the mysterious creators of the Transformers visited Earth in the distant past and may have even wiped out the dinosaurs.
Having the Dino-Bots just stomp around ancient Earth would be an interesting set-up all on its own to say nothing of the question of the Transformers’ mysterious creators; however, the biggest draw from a Transformers prequel would be to see the origins and early days of the civil war on Cybertron. A whole machine planet would be an impressive spectacle all on its own, but seeing that planet legitimately at war with itself sounds straight-up amazing, especially because there’d be whole armies of Transformers for a change.
Having the Dino-Bots just stomp around ancient Earth would be an interesting set-up all on its own to say nothing of the question of the Transformers’ mysterious creators; however, the biggest draw from a Transformers prequel would be to see the origins and early days of the civil war on Cybertron. A whole machine planet would be an impressive spectacle all on its own, but seeing that planet legitimately at war with itself sounds straight-up amazing, especially because there’d be whole armies of Transformers for a change.
4. 13 GHOSTS
I am a huge fan of 13 Ghosts, the ‘90s horror/dark fantasy flick with Monk himself Tony Schalub. The movie was a bit of a hit in its day, but no one really talks about it any more, save for me and my little table of one. The central concept of the film is not only that ghosts exist, though they can be hunted and controlled using certain spells be they written or spoken. The film revolves around a house/containment building designed to hold 13 captured spirits from across the world.
A prequel could explore how F. Murray Abraham’s eccentric ghost-hunting millionaire and his extensive team of dedicated lackeys went about hunting those ghosts. The film actually opens with the a hunt in progress and, aside from being a great opening, the crew involved is so numerous and so well equipped they must’ve been doing this for like 10 years. Just making a movie about a rich, crazy necromancer compiling a team of henchmen and spells to go hunt down specific ghosts of the black zodiac would be downright amazing. Also, I feel like there’s more acceptance now of horror/dark fantasy films like Insidious or The Conjuring.
A prequel could explore how F. Murray Abraham’s eccentric ghost-hunting millionaire and his extensive team of dedicated lackeys went about hunting those ghosts. The film actually opens with the a hunt in progress and, aside from being a great opening, the crew involved is so numerous and so well equipped they must’ve been doing this for like 10 years. Just making a movie about a rich, crazy necromancer compiling a team of henchmen and spells to go hunt down specific ghosts of the black zodiac would be downright amazing. Also, I feel like there’s more acceptance now of horror/dark fantasy films like Insidious or The Conjuring.
3. JUMANJI
Fun fact: Jumanji is still awesome. The idea of a board game that alters and impacts reality as you play it is still one of the most brilliant and imaginative concepts in blockbuster fiction. To the point, it’s still being ripped off this year with films like Goosebumps and Pixels. The idea of just making more Jumanji is clearly popular, but I think people are making the mistake of insisting it be contemporary, and that it be at all linked to the previous film.
What was so exciting about Jumanji is that it opened up so many possibilities: who made the game? What was the jungle it seemed to pull humans and animals from? Had it always existed? Are there OTHER cursed board games? Those last two could easily sustain a whole additional film, especially if you made a movie that accepted people already knowing the legend of Jumanji before setting out to play the game. Everyone is keen to develop their own shared universe these days, and a Jumanji prequel could easily set the stage of that except instead of exploring interconnected characters they could be board games and alternate dimensions.
What was so exciting about Jumanji is that it opened up so many possibilities: who made the game? What was the jungle it seemed to pull humans and animals from? Had it always existed? Are there OTHER cursed board games? Those last two could easily sustain a whole additional film, especially if you made a movie that accepted people already knowing the legend of Jumanji before setting out to play the game. Everyone is keen to develop their own shared universe these days, and a Jumanji prequel could easily set the stage of that except instead of exploring interconnected characters they could be board games and alternate dimensions.
2. PET SEMATARY
If you ever wondered where the whole “ancient Indian burial grounds” trope came from in horror, look no further than Pet Sematary. Based on the novel by Stephen King of the same name, Pet Sematary is a pretty solid movie. A creepy horror story about an ancient burial ground that resurrects the dead. The wrinkle is that the resurrected dead return as violent unhinged monsters making the whole thing just a very nightmarish fable about being careful what you wish for.
It was a successful enough film to spawn a god-awful sequel, but I think they went the wrong direction with the story. What I’d want to see is a film actually about the origins of the Pet Cemetery; all we know about it is that it’s somehow tied to a first nation’s tribe that occupied that area long ago. There’s a lot you could do with that information either exploring who made the cemetery or how it was used by the native Americans during the steady expanse of colonialism.
It was a successful enough film to spawn a god-awful sequel, but I think they went the wrong direction with the story. What I’d want to see is a film actually about the origins of the Pet Cemetery; all we know about it is that it’s somehow tied to a first nation’s tribe that occupied that area long ago. There’s a lot you could do with that information either exploring who made the cemetery or how it was used by the native Americans during the steady expanse of colonialism.
1. CABIN IN THE WOODS
Cabin in the Woods was a very enjoyable horror/meta-comedy from 2012 by faded star director Joss Whedon. The film revolved around a creepy cabin that was the subject of a vague yet menacing government agency’s operation to murder a bunch of teenagers using nightmarish monsters to appease Lovecraftian deities. It’s a fun flick. But it left us with a lot of questions about the facility, the monsters they were using, and the idea that there were multiple facilities all across the world.
Exploring where the humans got the various monsters from and how they came to the realization that recreating ‘80s slasher films would keep the world from ending would make for an excellent film. Cabin in the Woods already favored the facility administrators as main characters, so giving them main focus for a prequel exploring how the world ended up working this way could make for a great film.
Exploring where the humans got the various monsters from and how they came to the realization that recreating ‘80s slasher films would keep the world from ending would make for an excellent film. Cabin in the Woods already favored the facility administrators as main characters, so giving them main focus for a prequel exploring how the world ended up working this way could make for a great film.
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